Sunday, April 28, 2019

onanii オナニー

NSFW: this article may contain words or images you'd rather not have your boss see.
In Japanese, onanii オナニー, also spelled onanie, is a slang for "masturbation." Its verb form, "to masturbate," would be onanii suru オナニーする.

Onanie Master Kurosawa
Manga: Onanii Masutaa Kurosawa, オナニーマスター黒沢 (Volume 1)

Origin

The term onanii comes from Onan, the second son of Judah, from the Bible.

Yes. The Bible. That Bible.

As the story goes, Onan had sex with Tamar, but ejaculated outside, so God killed him for it. (I'm not making this up.)

Some countries figured this meant masturbation was a sin, while Japan figured it meant they should make a slang for masturbation based on a Biblical figure.

And by "Japan" I mean "Germany." Because "onanie" is a German word for masturbation from which onanii came from. Except I don't really mean Germany because I don't really know which country came up with this idea first.

There's even a book called Onania, written in 1710, detailing the horrors of masturbation, written by some no-name author in England selling penis pills or something.[Supplement #1: A Brief Account of Masturbation as a Medical/Moral Disease in Western Europe & the U. S., 18th-Early 20th Centuries as an Aid in Understanding a Similar Obsession with Masturbation in East Asia During the Late 19th and Early 20th Centuries - www.east-asian-history.net on web.archive.org, accessed 2019-04-28.]

オナニズム

The word onanizumu オナニズム is a katakanization of the English "onanism." It doesn't mean to the act of masturbation itself, but rather to its concept.

In particular, one way onanizumu can be used in Japanese is to talk about someone who is doing something for their own pleasure only, specially in sports, arts, etc. where being self-centered is a negative thing, meaning you don't cooperate with other people the way you should.

Portmanteaus

There's a bunch of portmanteaus containing either the start of the word onanii or the end. Let's start with the start.

オナる

The word onaru オナる means "to masturbate," the same way as onanii suru オナニーする.

オナ禁

The word ona-kin オナ禁 means a masturbation "ban," kin 禁. Generally in the sense of deliberately not masturbating for a period of time for some reason, though it could also mean some sort of law or regulation banning masturbation, but that's unlikely.

では 恋愛はダメだがオナ禁は解禁しよう
Manga: Seitokai Yakuindomo 生徒会役員共 (Chapter 3)
  • Context: the student council re-examines the regulations.
  • dewa, ren'ai wa dame daga
    onakin wa kaikin shiyou

    では 恋愛はダメだがオナ禁は解禁しよう
    Then, romance is [not okay] but, let's [allow masturbation].
    • kaikin 解禁
      "Open ban." In the same sense as of releasing a lock, a seal.
      To stop prohibiting something. (in this case, onakin.)

オナホール

The word onahooru オナホール, "onahole," abbreviated onaho オナホ, is a type of sex toy for masturbation in the form of a hole.

Who could have guessed.

By the way, Tenga テンガ is one well-known brand of such masturbatory aids.

オナペット

The word onapetto オナペット, "onapet," like a pet animal, or pet rock, not PET bottle, means someone, or something, to which one masturbates frequently.

Yes. This is a word.

By the way, "something to which you masturbate to" is either okazu オカズ or zurineta ズリネタ in Japanese. So an onapetto is a recurring zurineta.

As you might expect, telling someone "I masturbate thinking of you" is a really bold strategy, Cotton, and I absolutely don't think it's going to pay off, but if it's something like "I masturbate thinking of celebrity X," then it's Too Much Information, and nobody really asked you, so one has to wonder if this word is even used at all, if not only in anonymous internet forums and thought boxes in manga.

オナドル

An onadoru オナドル is an onapet "idol," aidoru アイドル. Specifically, it's someone who has become an idol, like, a celebrity, a "gravure idol," guradoru グラドル, a photo model, whatever, for the explicit purpose of being other people's onapet.

And yes, this is a word.

As an example, gravure idol Dan Mitsu 壇蜜, who said so in an interview:
  • shitsumon hachi, nukeru guradoru to iwareru koto ni tsuite
    【質問08】ヌケるグラドルといわれることについて
    Question 8: about it being said that [you] are a gravure idol [one] can jerk off to.
    • nuku 抜く
      To extract. (literally.)
      To ejaculate. To jerk off. (slang.)
  • sugoku ureshii desu.
    すごくうれしいです。
    [I'm] very glad [about that].
  • yappari gurabia wo yatteiru ijou, souiu taishou ni natte touzen dashi
    やっぱりグラビアをやっている以上、そういう対象になって当然だし
    As one would think, [if you work] as a gravure [idol], it's natural to become that sort of target.
    • wo yaru をやる
      To do [something].
      To work [a job].
    • ijou 以上
      So long as you are...
      Since you are...
      If you are...
    • taishou 対象
      Target. (in this case, target of masturbation.)
  • sou itte itadakeru koto ga yari-gai nimo tsunagatteimasu.
    そう言っていただけることがやりがいにもつながっています。
    Being told that is also connected to the worth of [working as a gravure idol].
    • yarigai やり甲斐
      Value (gai) of doing (yaru) something.
    • She's saying that people masturbating to her proves her modelling isn't worthless.
  • jitsu wa, dansei no onapetto ni naritakute, kono sekai ni haitta toiu no mo arundesu kakko-warai.
    実は、男性のオナペットになりたくて、この世界に入ったというのもあるんです(笑)
    Actually, [I] wanted to become men's onapet, [that's why] [I] entered this world lol.
  • Source: 妖艶すぎるグラドル・壇蜜が告白! 「オナペットになりたくて、この世界に入りました」 - wpb.shueisha.co.jp on web.archive.org, accessed 2019-04-28.

オナバレ

The word onabare オナバレ means "discovered masturbation," in the sense of someone discovering you masturbating, being caught masturbating, from the verb bareru バレる, "to find out [something that's supposed to be secret]."

床オナ

The word yukaona 床オナ means "floor masturbation," from yuka 床, the "floor." If you're unsure exactly what we're talking about it here, let me be clear: humping the floor.

角オナ

The word kadoona 角オナ means "corner masturbation," from kado 角, a "corner." This female variant of yukaona. E.g. the corner of a table, desk, etc.

棒オナ

The word bouona 棒オナ means "rod masturbation," from bou 棒, a "rod," or "pole." To explain it simply, imagine a witch flying on a broom.

クリオナ

The word kuriona クリオナ, or kurinii クリニー, means "clitoral masturbation," from "clitoris," kuritorisu クリトリス.

チクニー

The word chikunii チクニー, or chikuona チクオナ, means "nipple masturbation," from "nipple," chikubi 乳首.

アナニー

The word ananii アナニー, or anaona アナオナ, means "anal masturbation," from "anus," anaru アナル, which is literally "anal," not "anus," but actually also means "anus" in Japanese because Japanese absolutely hates you.

ケナニー

The word kenanii ケナニー means to masturbate with a "mobile phone," keitai 携帯.

And by "masturbate with" I mean watching porn in it or something, I don't mean "with it" in any other sense there could possibly exist.

パナニー

The word pananii パナニー means to masturbate with a "personal computer," pasokon パソコン. Obviously in contrast with kenanii.
  • keitai de onanii wa kenanii tte itte, pasokon dattara pananii
    携帯でオナニーはケナニーって言って、パソコンだったらパナニー
    Masturbation with a phone is called "kenanii," if it's a computer "pananii."
  • Source: VOICE #11 イケメンモデル軍団 - tenga.co.jp, accessed 2018-04-28.

リョナニー

The word ryonanii リョナニー means masturbating to the moans of agony of female characters in video-games like Resident Evil and Tomb Raider getting defeated because those moans kind of sound like moans of pleasure. It comes from ryouki 猟奇, "having attraction for the bizarre."

And yes, this word exists.

Or it existed, but then it got abbreviated to ryona リョナ and became an entire genre.
  • baio ya RPG nado de aegigoe wo agenagara shindeiku koukei de
    jii suru koui wo ryouki onanii to meimei suru

    バイオやRPGなどで喘ぎ声をあげながら死んでいく光景で
    自慰する行為を猟奇オナニーと命名する
    "[I] name the act of masturbating to scenes of [characters] dying while gasping in RPG and Resident Evil, etc. 'masturbating seeking the bizarre.'"
    • Baiohazaado バイオハザード
      Biohazard. (Resident Evil's Japanese title.)
  • NSFW (adult ads) source: 【きゃあっ】萌える悲鳴のゲーム【あんっ】 - game4.5ch.net, accessed 2019-04-28.

ミモニー

The word mimonii ミモニー means, probably, to masturbate to the voice actress Mimori Suzuko 三森すずこ, whose nickname is Mimorin みもりん.

She's voiced characters in Yuru Yuri, Symphogear, Outbreak Company, Kemono Friends, My Little Pony, wait, My Little Pony? BanG Dream! that anime a guy in Reddit keeps swearing isn't as bad as the 6.8/10 MAL rating says. Plus a bunch of other anime with cute girls. And even voiced once in Pop Team Epic, but then again, who hasn't?

For reference: some random guy on twitter saying real Mimorinists are those that don't Mimomii:

ナナニー

The word nananii ナナニー is a reference to the anime Koi Koi 7. The first time the anime aired, at the end of episode 5, the character Celonius 28 attempts to assassinate the main characters with a sniper shot, and fails, because of plot armor, of course.

So far so good, but then she's shown dry-umping the rifle she used in her failed assassination attempt, saying "sorry, Tetsuro. I screwed up. Punish me." Which... well, it is what it is.

As expected, this shit blew up. Fortunately, for the anime company, that was the last scene before the ED, so it was easy for them to cut it out, censor it, from the DVD release and rebroadcasts. That's to say the legendary scene was probably only aired once.

ナナニー
Anime: Koi Koi 7, こいこい7 (Episode 5)
  • Context: the Streisand effect.
  • gomen ne, Tetsuro
    shippai shichatta
    oshioki shite

    ごめんね、哲朗 失敗しちゃった お仕置きして
    [I'm] sorry, Tetsuro. [I] failed. Punish [me].

Since then, the term nananii has been used to refer to it, and you can see it in Japanese threads when similar scenes appear in new anime.

By the way, it's not called nananii because the anime is called Koi Koi 7, and 7 is nana in Japanese. The name of the anime in Japanese is Koi Koi Sebun こいこい7, the sebun being the katakanization of the number "seven" in English. The term nananii actually comes from the name of the voice actress that voiced Celonius 28: Mizuki Nana 水樹奈々.
267 名前:実況スリヴァー ◆SLIvERtomU [sage] 投稿日:2009年08月17日(月) 00:49:44.37 ID:w5xLlGKt
こいこい7、初回放送では確かに存在した5話のラストが、DVDと再放送ではカットされている。
ここはアスカヤヨイがライフルを下着越しに自分の陰部に当て、腰を動かしながら喘ぎ声を出すという際どいシーンであり、
滅多にエッチな声を出す仕事をしない水樹奈々によるセリフということもあって、放送当時は大きな話題を呼んだ。
現在でも伝説のシーンと認知され、このシーンをネット上では水樹の名前をもじって「ナナニー」と呼ばれる。
Reference: ナナニーの由来 - comibato.tumblr.com, accessed 2019-04-28.

ヒルニー

The word hirunii ヒルニー means... (??? Wait, what the actual fuck? People DO this???) to masturbate with an umabiru ウマビル, which is a species of leech that doesn't suck blood, apparently, by letting it enter inside one's urethra.

(yes... really.)

The word hirunii ヒルニー comes from hiru 蛭, "leech." It's pronounced biru in umabiru 馬蛭, "horse-leech," the "Whitmania pigra," because of rendaku 連濁.

By the way, the article explaining how in the world this is even supposed to work says you should use alcohol to disinfect the leech first. And that that may kill the leech. And if it doesn't "come out" after you're done should rush to the hospital. I mean... what... who the fuck thought this was a good idea?

NSFW reference: 【閲覧注意】ノーハンド尿道オナニー”ヒルニー”について調べてみた! - hentai-alliance.com.

This is enough internet for today.

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