And kanji with manga
Thursday, February 27, 2020

shinkon santaku 新婚三択

In Japanese, shinkon santaku 新婚三択, meaning "newly-wed three choices," refers to a scenario in which a newly wed husband arrives home to his newly wed wife, who provides him with three choices:

おかえりなさいあなた♡ お風呂にする? ご飯にする? それとも・・・わ♡た♡し♡?
Manga: Sunohara-sou no Kanrinin-san すのはら荘の管理人さん (Volume 1, Chapter 9, Page 80)
  • Context: Yukimoto Yuzu 雪本柚子 imagines herself as a bride who would support her future husband.
  • okaerinasai anata ♡
    おかえりなさいあなた♡
    [Welcome home, dear.]
    • anata
      あなた
      You. (second person pronoun.)
      Sometimes used by a wife to refer to her husband.
  • ofuro ni suru?
    gohan ni suru?
    soretomo... wa... ta... shi...?

    お風呂にする?
    ご飯にする?
    それとも・・・わ♡た♡し♡??
    [What do you want to do]?
    [Eat]? [Take a] bath? Or... me?
    • soretomo watashi
      それとも私
      Or me. (often pronounced with coquettish pauses between syllables.)
    • gohan means a "meal," and can be "lunch" or "dinner." It's normally dinner since the scenario is usually about a husband coming home from work.
    • ni suru にする means to settle on doing something. It doesn't carry a sexual innuendo like "do me" in English. Although suru する alone, "to do [it]," is sometimes an innuendo for "to have sex."

Despite the name, most instances of this scenario do not happen between newly wed couples, or even wed couples, just between any two random characters.

Examples

There are examples of shinkon santaku in a bunch of anime, in all sorts of variations. For reference, some of them:

ラブラブ新婚生活マニュアル それでツカサ・・・ このあとは ご飯にする? お風呂にする? それとも・・・わ・・・た・・・し・・・?
Anime: Plastic Memories, プラスティック・メモリーズ (Episode 6, Post-Credits Scene)
  • Context: Isla アイラ tells Mizugaki Tsukasa 水柿ツカサ something she learned on a book.
    • raburabu shinkon seikatsu manyuaru
      ラブラブ新婚生活マニュアル
      Lovey-dovey newly-wed life manual.
  • sore de Tsukasa...
    それでツカサ・・・
    Then, Tsukasa....
  • kono ato wa
    gohan ni suru
    ofuro ni suru
    soretomo... wa... ta.. shi...?

    このあとは
    ご飯にする?
    お風呂にする?
    それとも・・・わ・・・た・・・し・・・?
    After this, [what do you want to do?]
    Dinner? Bath? Or... me...?


遅かったですね おかえりなさいまし、真尋さん 私にしますか? それとも先に私にします? それとも わ・た・し?
Manga: Haiyore! Nyaruko-san 這いよれ!ニャル子さん (Chapter 6, さよならです)
  • Context: Nyaruko ニャル子 welcomes Yasaka Mahiro 八坂真尋.
  • osokatta desu ne
    遅かったですね
    [It took you a while, huh].
  • okaerinasaimashi, Mahiro-san
    おかえりなさいまし、真尋さん
    [Welcome home], Mahiro-san.
  • watashi ni shimasu ka?
    soretomo saki ni watashi ni shimasu?
    soretomo wa... ta... shi?

    私にしますか?
    それとも先に私にします?
    それとも わ・た・し?
    [What do you want to do?]
    Me? Or, before that, me? Or... me?

今日もお疲れ様でした あなた、ご飯にします? お風呂にします? それとも・・・ こ・・・これは・・・ドキドキワクワクの・・・ それとも中目黒先輩? えっ? まさかの選択肢!
Anime: Seitokai no Ichizon Lv.2 生徒会の一存 Lv.2 (Episode 4)
  • kyou mo otsukaresama deshita
    今日もお疲れ様でした
    Today, too, [thank you for your work].
  • anata, gohan ni shimasu?
    ofuro ni shimasu?
    soretomo...

    あなた、ご飯にします?
    お風呂にします
    それとも・・・
    [What do you want to do, husband?]
    Dinner? Bath? Or...
  • ko... kore wa... dokidoki wakuwaku no...
    こ・・・これは・・・ドキドキワクワクの・・・
    Th... this is... [that] exciting...
    • dokidoki refers to heartbeat, or something that makes your heart beat faster.
    • wakuwaku is a phenomime for being excited about something.
  • soretomo Nakameguro-senpai?
    それとも中目黒先輩?
    Or Nakameguro-senpai?
  • e'?
    masaka no sentakushi!

    えっ?
    まさかの選択肢!
    Eh? The [completely] unexpected option!
  • Context: Shiina Mafuyu 椎名真冬 and Sugisaki Ken 杉崎鍵 are acting like wife and husband. When she starts the famous phrase, Ken expects it to go as the template, but Mafuyu doesn't say "or me," she gives the option to choose Nakameguro Yoshiki 中目黒善樹, a different character instead.

あたし、将来はお嫁さんになりたい! 寝言は寝てから言うのがこの世界のルールですよ おかえりなさいあなた! 早かったわね! もう将来始まったんですか? 食事にする? お風呂にする? それともま・わ・し? ここは相撲部屋じゃありません
Anime: Sakura-sou no Pet na Kanojo, さくら荘のペットな彼女 (Episode 1)
  • Context: after waking up, Kamiigusa Misaki 上井草美咲 excitedly talks about her dream to Kanda Sorata 神田空太, who isn't as excited.
  • atashi, shourai wa oyome-san ni naritai!
    あたし、将来はお嫁さんになりたい!
    I want to become a wife in the future!
  • {negoto wa nete kara iu} no ga kono sekai no ruuru desu yo
    寝言は寝てから言うのがこの世界のルールですよ
    {Sleep-talking [is something you do] after sleeping} is this world's rule.
    • Kanda is saying she should only talk nonsense while sleeping, not after waking up.
    • She ignores him completely.
  • okaerinasai anata!
    hayakatta wa ne!
    おかえりなさいあなた!
    早かったわね!
    [Welcome home, dear!]
    [You're] early, aren't you?
  • mou shourai hajimatta-n-desu ka?
    もう将来始まったんですか?
    The future already started?
  • shokuji ni suru
    ofuro ni suru
    soretomo... ma... wa... shi...?

    食事にする?
    お風呂にする?
    それともま・わ・し?
    [Which one do you want?]
    Food? Bath? Or... ma... wa... shi?
  • koko wa sumoubeya jaarimasen
    ここは相撲部屋じゃありません
    This isn't a sumo room.
    • In sumo, mawashi is the name of the loincloth that wrestlers wear.

This scenario is sometimes combined with a "naked apron," hadaka epuron 裸エプロン, that is, the newly wed wife waits for the husband to come home from work wearing nothing but an apron.

おかえりなさいあなた お食事にします? それともお風呂? それともわ・た・し?
Anime: Excel♥Saga, エクセル♥サーガ (Episode 26)
  • Context: Watanabe Tooru 渡辺通 fantasizes that Hyatt ハイアット is his wife.
  • okaerinasai anata
    おかえりなさいあなた
    [Welcome home, dear].
  • oshokuji ni shimasu?
    soretomo ofuro?
    soretomo wa... ta... shi...?

    お食事にします?
    それともお風呂?
    それともわ・た・し?
    [What do you want to do?]
    Dinner? Bath? Or... me...?

お食事? おフロ? それともあ・た・し? ってなにこれ? こんなフリフリ脱ぎたいよ~!
Anime: Onigiri 鬼斬 (Episode 13)
  • Context: a completely random fanservice shot of Ibaraki-douji 茨木童子.
  • oshokuji?
    ofuro?
    soretomo a... ta... shi...?

    お食事?
    おフロ?
    それともあ・た・し?
    Food? Bath? Or... me?
  • tte nani kore?
    konna furifuri nugitai yo~!

    ってなにこれ?
    こんなフリフリ脱ぎたいよ~!
    [Wait], what is this?
    [I don't want to wear] something frilly like this!
    • nugu
      脱ぐ
      To undress. To remove clothes.

And of course there's also this:

おかえりなさい、あなた 今日はスク水エプロンにする? それともブルマエプロンにする? それとも・・・裸エプロン?
Anime: Kotoura-san 琴浦さん (Episode 5)
  • Context: Manabe Yoshihisa 真鍋義久 fantasizes that Kotoura Haruka 琴浦春香 is his wife, who provides him with three options of clothing.
  • okaerinasai, anata
    おかえりなさい、あなた
    [Welcome home, dear].
  • kyou wa suku-mizu epuron ni suru?
    今日はスク水エプロンにする?
    Today, [will you choose] school-swimsuit-apron?
  • soretomo buruma epuron ni suru?
    それともブルマエプロンにする?
    Or [will you choose] bloomers-apron?
  • soretomo... hadaka epuron?
    それとも・・・裸エプロン?
    Or [is it]... naked apron?

Since BL exists, there's also even this:

今日は疲れていると思うから まずはお風呂にする? ご飯にする? それとも・・・俺?
Anime: Junjou Romantica, 純情ロマンチカ (Episode 12)
  • Context: Takahashi Misaki 高橋美咲 practices what to say.
  • kyou wa tsukareteiru to omou kara
    今日は疲れていると思うから
    [I] think that [you] are tired today, so.
  • mazu wa ofuro ni suru?
    gohan ni suru?
    soretomo... ore?
    まずはお風呂にする?
    ご飯にする?
    それとも・・・俺?
    [What do you want to do] first?
    Bath? Dinner? Or... me?

References

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